Full circle

Here we are again!!

Almost a month ago I signed my contract to be the DA Supervisor for the 2011/12 season. It was, believe it or not, a pretty grueling decision. Deciding to go back was by no means the hard part, but rather the decision of "what" to go back as. I had a couple of different options, but after a long conversation with the oh-so-persuasive Jennifer Jabs I happily decide to return to the same department.

It fits, and I'm happy with the decision. (Not to mention it offered the best money of all of my options...not that anyone goes to Antarctica for money...but it's a nice bonus)

Shortly thereafter I received an offer to do TDY work for the month of June and hire the staff that will be down on The Ice with me this coming season...Awesome, right? How hard can it be, right?

WRONG!!

I do like the job, and I am so glad that I will get the opportunity to not only choose my crew, but also have the chance to get to know them before we ever get on a plane.

The irony...the difficulty, rather... lies in my memories of the place I was in a year ago. Hoping, waiting, wishing - wanting nothing more than to get the "call back", to get that first interview, second interview...THE JOB!!

I remember those feelings that tugged at my heart strings, and I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday how badly I wanted this opportunity...and how completely grateful I was when it was finally offered to me.
And now I've "gone corporate" (as a lovely gentleman so kindly pointed out to me the other day)! I'm the one on the other side of the desk, the other side of the phone. I'm the one they're waiting to hear from, and the one that gives them that pit in there stomach when they prepare for their interview. I, quite frankly, for lack of a better way to put it, have their dreams in my hands...AND THAT'S KINDA CRAPPY.

While I do realize that not getting "the job" is not the end all for their opportunity to go to Antarctica, it still sucks to think that I have enough control to ruin a persons day...or make a person's dreams come true. I'm not really fond of such control, and pathetic, may it be, I catch myself getting kind of sad as I read through these applications...


...I might just be a smidgen too empathetic for this job... We'll see what happens...


All else aside deployment is exactly 9weeks and 5 days away.

(SOOOOO crazy to think that a little over 4 months ago I was counting down the days to leave and now begins the countdown to return. Where did my time go? Time to soak up the sun and spend time with the fam. Summer here I come!!)