HOLY CRAP! I am exhausted, I am burnt out, I'm BEAT! This season, more realistically the job, has taken a toll on me. Every day seems longer than the next...both literally and figuratively, as the sun officially set for the last time on October 22. "One long day" has begun and while in the past this has been a neutral connotation it is slowly, and against my will, trying to become a negative one. However, I refuse to let anything about this place be negative and while there are aspects that are often hard to view as anything but, I have committed to the idea that it is what I take out of it...I'm releasing the negativity...I'm finding my chi...channeling my zen...at least I am trying.
With 24 hours of daylight it seems hard to believe that there is actually NOT enough hours in the day to do everything that I need to do but this is, in fact, the case. Being a supervisor and one of the only returners this year has proven difficult...and interesting...and even awesome all at the same time...exasperating, exhausting, exhilarating, emotionally draining...I'm sure you get the point. No day is like the last, and yet yesterdays issues tend to follow you to today. And while the job does seem to be dramatic at times I have also tried to be realistic about the fact that its what happens outside of the job that follows you to work that causes the drama...not actually the job. That has been one thing about this place that after one and half seasons I have still had a very hard time trying to adjust to. In the real world it is significantly easier to keep your professional and personal lives separate. You don't want to hang out with your employees then you go to the bar across town that you know no one will be at...you want to go on a date in peace and keep the discretion, you just don't tell your peers about it and then you find a quiet restaurant far away from all of them...you wanna commit social suicide on Halloween by dressing in a crazy costume, partying like its 1999, and dancing like a mad women till you can't feel your legs anymore, without anyone judging you and talking about you for weeks, then you don't invite anyone to the party...
Life doesn't work that way here. There is 1100ish people, two bars, 1 coffee house, one choice of restaurant (the Galley) and NO place to hide. Everything you do is on display and everyone is always very interested...My day-to-day life has never been this interesting..........to anyone..............ever. It makes it hard do anything discretely or keep anything under wraps. And so more often then not, the little drama's of every day life seem to tip-toe their way right into the office and right onto my computer screen (so to speak). Everyone knows what you're doing, who you're hanging out with, and where you were last night at 9:30, and while I will probably never be used to this, I have at least started to tolerate it...I have even decided if you can't beat them join them...When people have started to speculate I have spelled it out for them so there is absolutely NO speculation...but of course the speculation will always remain, so I often find myself laughing at the entire situation as a whole.................................
There is a positive side to this though, as I have discovered...(But first a little back info)...
One of the HUGEST problems here at good ol' McMurdo is infidelity (as a disclaimer [but not a justification] I would like to say that the crazy amount of alcohol that is consumed down here probably doesn't help). I don't know what it is about this place but it either brings out the worst in you or the best. I have a theory that people escape the real world when they come here, so essentially they can be anyone they want when they're here. In the real world they have spouses and children and responsibilities, etc. Here they can put all of those things in the back of their heads and wipe all of their responsibilities away...be college students again. So that being said, I have watched many men and women (experienced it myself even) meet people here on the ice and have almost a fairy tale romance (And I will say that this place is what fairy tales are made of so I can understand why the whimsey carries over into everyday relationships) only to be so rudely awakened when they find out their said "Prince" or "Princess" has a Prince or Princess of their own at home...and then the romance ends with one person hurt and jaded, and one who loses nothing. Not very balanced.................................
Now back to the positive side of the proverbial and perpetual busybodies that make up the McMurdo population...EVERYONE wants to be involved, and while in the "real world" that would make me want to claw my eyes out, here there are moments I do appreciate it, as it is these "busybodies" that will gladly run to you proudly exclaiming that the person you have chosen to spend your time with is...drum roll...married...
These people should NOT have to come to the rescue...But no one should have to ask a question like that either. I have racked up so many prerequisite questions that my initial interactions sound like job interviews...
"Name? Age? Are you unemployed? Do you have any pertinent baggage that I should know about now?
What?! No to all of those questions? Hmmmmmmmm...Well then are you gay?"
Ok, its not really that bad (and I'm not really THAT crazy) but I don't have the best track record...One of the reasons I'm 25 and single...and SO PROUD OF IT!!! And while I realize I am reaching the age where a great deal of the men around me are married, "Are you married" is still NOT a prerequisite question that I should have to add to my list.
Oh Well, ENOUGH about the sour apples...there are people here who are absolutely amazing...people that I wouldn't be able to make it through some of these crazy experiences without (I would even say the whimsy and "fairytale" caryover into friendships as the friends you make down here are instantly, and insanely, bonded to you for life). People that remind me every day that honor, loyalty, honesty, etc. are still important.
I still love this place. I always will. If I ever leave here, never to return (as cheesy as it sounds), I will leave a piece of my heart here...in the pot room, I'm sure...
Antarctic Stats:
Temperature: 0°C/32°F
Windchill: -2°C/29°F
Visibility (miles): Unrestricted
Wind (knots): NE @ 4
(ABSOLUTELY PHENOMINAL DAY in Antarctica)
Next Sunset: February 21, 2012 1:15am
Population: 1080
Still so in love with this place...
